If there’s one thing millennials complain about the most, it’s dating.
We live in an age where app culture is like glorified online shopping.
We can be too quick to swipe left after seeing one picture and too quick to ghost after one date.
Just like ordering Postmates, it’s easy to log onto the apps to find a new date for the next day, which can make it difficult to connect deeply with others and genuinely explore your own desires.
I’ve been single for a long time, having dated around on every app and in multiple cities.
I’ve had good dates and bad dates (mostly bad), but through my experiences, the one arrangement I have enjoyed the most is having a friend with benefits.
While this scenario may not be for everyone – it can be a slippery slope and not for the jealous types, – it’s something worth considering if you’re frustrated with your current sex and dating life.
Keep reading for all the perks that make the set-up pretty damn great.
1. It’s safer
Let’s face it — we’re sexual beings and most of us not in relationships are going to find a way to have sex.
When you’re hooking up with a friend, you don’t have anxiety about something dangerous potentially happening when you go home with them since they’re not a stranger you just met.
You know them, trust them, and feel safe with them, which is always important.
It’s also safer to have one consistent partner, instead of multiple when thinking about STIs and sexual health.
2. It’s convenient
Most of us have extremely busy lives and the thought of dating or being in a relationship seems like a full-time job in itself.
Hooking up with a friend allows you to get together when you’re both available and have no hard feelings or questions when you’re not.
There are also no relationship responsibilities, like being in constant communication or having to meet each other’s families.
Being friends with benefits should come with some ground rules.
Communication is key in the beginning to lay out exactly what page you’re on, so there are no lingering doubts, ulterior motives, or emotional baggage.
3. The freedom is amazing
An FWB allows you the freedom to still date around and explore what’s out there, while also having a back-pocket booty call.
It’s like having your cake and eating it too – and who doesn’t want cake?!
My current FWB explains that he prefers this arrangement, because he’s not ready for a full relationship and “the freedom of being casual and not limiting myself is pretty ideal.”
And me? Same!
4. It’s healthy
Multiple studies have shown that having sex is good for our health and well-being.
It’s a stress reliever, a good workout, it boosts your mood, and is a confidence builder.
An FWB gives you that healthy sex glow without the angst or emotional baggage of a relationship.
5. There is chemistry
Friends normally have something in common.
Whether it’s music, weird interests, humor, or a TV show – there is typically some kind of chemistry there.
While there isn’t supposed to be much happening outside the bedroom in an FWB situation, this light-hearted attraction translates into pleasurable sex.
It’s more fun to have sex with someone you vibe with than trying to force chemistry with a random person.
6. It’s a comfortable space to explore yourself
An FWB gives you the opportunity to explore yourself freely in a relaxed environment.
When hooking up with someone new, it’s possible to experience sexual performance anxiety.
This not only takes away from the practice, but it also limits your exploration, risk, and pleasure.
With a consistent FWB, you’re able to learn about your body and desires.
You can tell a friend exactly what you’re into and what you’re not into.
You can try new things without feeling embarrassed.
Having more consistent sex can lead to better sex.
7. There is no pressure of “dating”
Dating fatigue is real and the thought of going through small talk and intro questions – Where are you from? How many siblings do you have? What do you do for a living? – is nauseating to me at this point.
It’s like a broken record that feels like forced conversation we can have in our sleep.
It feels better to hang out with a friend that you already know, without having to hold back and fit a mold of the perfect date.
There are no games and no waiting for them to text you back – you’re friends who have sex and nothing more.
8. You might fall in love
I know what you’re thinking — this perk is contradicting everything previously discussed.
But, when you’re intimate with a friend and also dating other people outside of them, you may realize that the other fish in the sea actually aren’t for you and no one can quite measure up to your trusty old FWB.
Overall, an FWB can be a great form of temporary pleasure for those living busy, independent, free-spirited lives.
Just know that if emotional and romantic feelings do creep in, you must communicate them and be prepared to walk away if the other person doesn’t feel the same.
But if they do, the reward can be so worth the risk.
Vanessa Powell is a writer who focuses on relationships, dating, and love. For more of her relationship content, visit her author profile on PopSugar.
This article was originally published at PopSugar. Reprinted with permission from the author.
