Texting can be a quick and easy way to get in contact with others, especially someone you like.
And if you’re wondering how to text a girl and tell her you like her or how to flirt with a girl over text in a way that will make her like you, you’re definitely not alone.
For some people, sending text messages rather than calling someone can be a saving grace.
You get to think through which things to talk about with a girl and what you really want to say, the message you hope to deliver and how you can best say it before you hit “send”.
Unlike when you’re talking to someone over voice calling or FaceTime, you get an opportunity make changes and edits to your messages before the person on the other end receives them.
This means texting minimizes the likelihood of foot-in-mouth syndrome, because it allows you to read over your messages before she does.
Just like voice calling, however, texting requires a thoughtful approach, especially if you want to come across as interesting and interested rather than being seen as some annoying guy and totally turning her off.
Unlike when you talk with someone on the phone, when you send texts, a record of your conversation is created.
This solidifies your comments and responses, making it difficult — or even impossible — to take them back or deny you ever wrote them.
If you’re someone who has “memory issues” or difficulty owning up to what you’ve done said when someone takes issue with you, you must be especially careful about what you type and text.
For many women, including myself, it can be extremely challenging to communicate with guys via text.
These challenges exist for many reasons, including but not limited to, receiving texts from guys who don’t really know what to say to a girl.
I can’t tell you how many times this particular issue has irritated me and other women I know.
Although I’m a listener and a talker by both nature and profession, nothing bothers me (and a lot of other women) more than having to venture into a the occupation of “pulling teeth”.
Guys, when you text a woman, you should be able to communicate with her in a way that helps develop rapport between the two of you and peaks her interest, not one that creates additional work for her.
Texting a woman — or anyone you are interested in — requires putting thought into it.
What do you want to know about her? What do you like about her? Who is she as a person? Why do you find her so attractive and interesting?
Texting a woman something like, “Good morning, love”, “Good morning, beautiful”, or especially, “Good morning, sexy” when you don’t know her well and say nothing else can be a huge turnoff, as these types of texts can be sent to anyone and everyone, and therefore may come off as both intrusive and impersonal.
Just like men, women want to feel special and unique, not as though they are simply one of many.
Texting these types of comments may also convey to her that you may not be entirely certain of who you are texting, that you may be sending out batch text messages to as many women as possible and then waiting to see who responds, or as though you just aren’t serious about her.
Many women lose interest fairly quickly if they believe you’re on some kind of fishing expedition rather than striving to get to know them personally.
Last, but certainly not least, over-sexualized texts that don’t seek to explore the context of a woman’s character but rather her physical dimensions are typically nothing but a huge turn-off..
These texts aren’t only creepy, but they convey the message you’re only interested in one thing.
If you are really interested in a woman and think you want to build a relationship with her, you want to be transparent and authentic.
You want her to know that you are interested in her mind, soul, and interests, not just the physical aspects of her.
Dr. Tarra Bates-Duford is a psychologist who focuses on relationships, dating, and personality issues, as well as a Certified Relationship Specialist with Diplomate Status, and an expert with the American Psychotherapy Association.
