Unpopular Opinion: Hold Your Horses: Why Early Marriage Might Hinder Your Hustle, Young Man

This might not be the gossip around the evening chai at Mama Namu’s place, but here’s the Ugandan truth many won’t tell you straight: young men, slow down on rushing to the altar.

Let’s be real, our sisters, bless their hearts, often blossom faster than us. Remember how Gloria in Senior Four was already acing her exams while you were still catching feelings over every girl who smiled your way? Studies show this is a real thing. It’s not that we’re slow, but our Ugandan sisters tend to mature quicker, both naturally and sometimes because of societal expectations. Jumping into marriage young puts those dreams you shared with your buddies at the that kafunda on hold.

In my readings, I came across an African proverb that goes, “A Good marriage doesn’t come from an empty hand.” Marriage, especially young, can be a beautiful thing, but let’s face it, building a life in Kampala with a meagre salary is no walk in the park. Imagine, you’re still figuring out whether to chase that welding certification or open a boda boda business, and suddenly there’s a wife and maybe even a little one to support? The pressure, my friend, can be heavier than a sack of posho.

Look at all those couples we see struggling around town. Auntie Nalongo is always whispering about how Sarah left Muzamiru because all he could offer was love and a mabaati (corrugated iron) roof, while his childhood friend who went to South Africa now sends money home and drives a spanking new land cruiser and has opened a number of start-ups. Financial stress, like a stubborn weed in the maize field, can choke the life out of even the strongest Ugandan marriage.

So, what’s the magic number? There isn’t one, but consider this: some folks say a man’s earning power reaches its peak around the age of 35. Maybe that’s a good time to think about the responsibility of a family.

Now, let’s talk about love. Our Ugandan saying, “A good man is the son of a respected elder” holds weight here too. Age isn’t everything, but a slight gap (think 5 or above years) can be a good thing. Imagine you and your future wife at the same stage, both with your careers on the rise. You can chat about work over a rolex or kikomando after a long day, and understand each other’s dreams.

And fellas, let’s be honest, sometimes our Ugandan sisters seem to have luck on their side. Maybe they land that government job or open a successful boutique with what seems like little effort. That’s okay! Maybe it’s part of the divine plan. Our role is to create the space for them to flourish, and that often means being secure in ourselves first.

So young kings, don’t be pressured by those weddings happening every other weekend. Focus on your goals, chase your dreams like chasing a runaway goat in Kabalagala. Become the man you were always meant to be. The right Ugandan queen will be waiting for a king, not a boy struggling to find his path. Trust me, this writer, a keen observer of life lessons learned over countless cups of Ugandan coffee. Not to sound braggish, but I know what I’m talking about!

Kati nebwentema!