{"id":9559,"date":"2019-06-05T11:06:40","date_gmt":"2019-06-05T08:06:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ugmirror.com\/?p=9559"},"modified":"2019-06-05T11:06:44","modified_gmt":"2019-06-05T08:06:44","slug":"5-things-you-need-to-give-up-if-you-want-to-find-the-love-of-your-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ugmirror.com\/index.php\/2019\/06\/05\/5-things-you-need-to-give-up-if-you-want-to-find-the-love-of-your-life\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Things You Need To Give Up If You Want To Find The Love Of Your Life"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Give\nthem up already.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If\nyou want to find true love and the relationship of your dreams, you’ll need to\nlearn how to build self-confidence first. This piece of dating advice is\ncrucial. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\ncan possess all the confidence in the world while at work or running your\nbusiness, but when it comes to relationships, suddenly you may feel insecure.\nAnd that\u2019s absolutely normal\u2014we all have our \u2018weak\u2019 areas in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All\nit means is that it\u2019s time to address your relationship insecurity and\ntransform it into empowerment. It\u2019s important to do, and yes, it\u2019s possible to\ndo it now\u2014and do it fast. That may sound drastic, but it all depends on how\nbadly you want it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\nmay notice from personal experience that when you feel confident, you\u2019re in the\nzone\u2014optimistic, clear-minded; you feel in control. Life opens its doors for\nyou, and you seem to evoke the best from others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And\nisn\u2019t that the feeling we want from a relationship? To bounce off each other\u2019s\nstrengths instead of insecurities. Right? So how do we do it? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\nis one thing to realize and five to give up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s\nstart with that \u2018one thing.\u2019 Deep within you feel confident, but that feeling\nis being obscured by emotional needs clamouring to be addressed and re-framed.\nBut trust me, you don\u2019t need those needs. Besides, all of them originate from\nchildhood insecurities and pain that dwell in the subconscious and no longer\nrepresent who you are today: someone worthy and deserving of a happy and\nfulfilling relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So\nonce you\u2019ve realized that underneath all your insecurities, you really are a\nconfident person, here are the five things you need to give up, to set the\nconfident you free: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

1.\nGive up the need to have a partner in your life<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\nI mean is, if having a partner is what you want, it has to come from your own\nfree choice, and not just to compensate for an unfulfilled emotional need.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s\na huge difference, you see. Because when we try to fill the void of insecurity\nwith a partner, new car or shoes, or with another cookie or drink, it can never\nbe good enough. True satisfaction can only come from the attitude\nof wanting a relationship, not needing it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s\nlike, \u201cI\u2019m fine by myself; I know who I am\u2014independent, happy and content\u2014and I\nprefer to be in a loving relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If\nthis statement feels light and easy, it\u2019s a desire that comes from your\nConfident Self. And since I know that you\u2019re worthy of having what you want,\nI\u2019m confident that it will be so! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2.\nGive up the need to please others<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So\noften we feel insecure in dating or in a relationship because we feel the need\nto please our partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well,\nbeing a considerate and respectful person is one thing (and these are good\ntraits to have), but disregarding your own needs, as if you\u2019re not good enough\nor \u2018less than,\u2019 for the sake of gaining your partner\u2019s love and approval is\ntotally different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And\nit\u2019s kind of unfair to demand that from them anyway, as no one person can give\nus love and approval every time we need it. But what if, instead, you love and\napprove of yourself so much that you don\u2019t need to depend on another to provide\nthis emotional nourishment for you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\nif you become so proficient at self-validating that other people\u2019s opinions\nabout you become irrelevant? If you can accomplish this, I think your partner\nwill love that quality most in you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

3.\nGive up the need to control your partner<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If\nyou ever figure out how to do this one successfully, do let me know. So far, I\nadmit that I\u2019ve failed at it, miserably. So now, \u2018acceptance\u2019 has become my new\n\u2018control.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\neither accept your partner fully and love him or her for being the way they\nare, or you don\u2019t. What\u2019s interesting is that we cannot offer another what we\ndon\u2019t feel about ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So\nthe question is, do I accept myself fully? And if the answer is no, then why\nnot? You can\u2019t make yourself wrong for being a flawed and messed-up human, but\nwhen you accept your imperfections, you can change your negative traits more\neasily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just\nremember that you do this out of free choice because you want to change and you\nprefer something different, and not because something is wrong with you. And\nwhen you begin eating healthy or stretching in a yoga pose, you may influence\nyour partner to work on him or herself too. They may even feel inspired to join\nyou in drinking a smoothie on your walk tonight. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

4.\nGive up the need to be afraid of getting hurt or being betrayed<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sure\nit was painful and heartbreaking when it happened before, and so often we make\nit about ourselves, as if something is wrong with us or it was our fault. But\nwhat if the reason the hurt or betrayal happened is because you deserved\nbetter?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe\nthe \u2018wise\u2019 part of you knew that there\u2019s a partner who\u2019s truly yours somewhere\nout there, finding their way to you, and that part of you moved the \u2018wrong\u2019\nones out of the way, freeing the path for The One to come into your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When\nyou choose to look at your past break-ups this way, victoriously, you\u2019re not\nscared to date and engage in a new relationship. Instead, you\u2019re curious and\nexcited, fully open to receive love, anticipating his or her\narrival!  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

5.\nGive up the need to be unhappy<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well,\nyou and I both need to hear this one! So here is what I mean. While growing up\nand observing what was unfolding in our environment, we created a habitual way\nof feeling that we carried into adulthood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When\nwe were kids, we could do nothing about it, but now it\u2019s entirely up to us to\ndecide to create a habit of happiness. You accomplish this by doing all the\ncheesy and annoying things described in the pages of self-help books.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\nstart meditating, counting your blessings, focusing on the bright side of life,\ntreating yourself with love and respect, first in your thoughts (you speak to\nyourself kindly) and then through actions (you do things that make you happy\nevery day). And before you know it, the happy and confident you is the new norm\nin your life experience. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today\non Facebook I saw a post that I absolutely loved and want to share with you. It\nsaid: \u201cGo find yourself, so you can find me.\u201d I interpret this as a message\nfrom your current or future partner. To which I\u2019d add: \u201cAnd make it fun, while\nyou\u2019re at it!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Katherine\nAgranovich, Ph.D., is a medical hypnotherapist, holistic consultant, and author\nof Tales of\nMy Large, Loud, Spiritual Family<\/a>. As the founder of the Achieve Health\nCenter, she helps men and women attain mental-emotional alignment and offers\ndating and relationship advice to find ‘The One.’<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Give them up already. If you want to find true love and the relationship of your dreams, you’ll need to learn how to build self-confidence first. This piece of dating advice is crucial.  You can possess all the confidence in the world while at work or running your business, but when it comes to relationships, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":27983,"featured_media":9560,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_paywall_metabox":[],"jnews_override_counter":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9559","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\n5 Things You Need To Give Up If You Want To Find The Love Of Your Life - Uganda Mirror<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ugmirror.com\/index.php\/2019\/06\/05\/5-things-you-need-to-give-up-if-you-want-to-find-the-love-of-your-life\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"5 Things You Need To Give Up If You Want To Find The Love Of Your Life - Uganda Mirror\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Give them up already. If you want to find true love and the relationship of your dreams, you’ll need to learn how to build self-confidence first. 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If you want to find true love and the relationship of your dreams, you’ll need to learn how to build self-confidence first. 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