{"id":8965,"date":"2019-04-01T15:21:23","date_gmt":"2019-04-01T12:21:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ugmirror.com\/?p=8965"},"modified":"2019-04-01T15:21:28","modified_gmt":"2019-04-01T12:21:28","slug":"if-youre-struggling-to-move-on-from-a-breakup-you-need-to-read-this","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ugmirror.com\/index.php\/2019\/04\/01\/if-youre-struggling-to-move-on-from-a-breakup-you-need-to-read-this\/","title":{"rendered":"If You\u2019re Struggling To Move On From A Breakup, You Need To Read This"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

We\nall react to the loss and grief of a breakup in different ways.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyone\nwho has been in a long-term relationship that ended in a heartbreaking breakup\nhas asked the question: “Why are breakups so hard?”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In\nmy experience, the answer is as complicated as there are people on earth. As we\ngo through the stages of a breakup, we all react to the loss and grief in\ndifferent ways. The heartbreak can last from days to months to years. It’s not\neasy to get over it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Was\nthere a breach of trust involved? Did you have a family with this man and,\nafter the kids were gone, you realized there was little left to the relationship?\nWas it wrong from the start and you didn\u2019t know how to end it? Was he\nyour first love and the breakup devastated you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Can\nyou figure out how to deal with a breakup, even if it seems like your broken\nheart can’t be whole again? The answer is “yes” but only if you learn\nwhy you continue to hold on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\nspent five years longer than I should have in my second marriage, even though I\nknew it was over. But I didn\u2019t want to be that woman who was divorced twice.\nThat was my story and I was sticking to it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So,\nI spent those five years trying to fix it, even though I knew it was not in my\ncontrol to fix. Crazy, huh? And still, it was hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\nare 7 reasons why it’s so hard to get over breakups and move on from the\nheartbreak.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1.\nYou’re holding on to the past<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many\ntimes, your memories of how it was at the beginning keep you from recognizing\nthat things have changed. You want to believe that it can be like that again,\nif only things were different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“If\nonly he would change. If only he would hear me. If only he would compromise. If\nonly he would stop abusing me verbally (or otherwise).”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When\nyou hold onto the past, getting over a breakup makes it even more difficult to\nsee clearly what is right in front of your face and how much things have\nchanged. It also keeps you stuck in a place that is impossible to leave behind\nbecause you want it back so badly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2.\nIt\u2019s hard to accept<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Coming\nface-to-face with the breakup can be very hard to accept, even if you knew it\nwas over, more so if you had no clue it was coming. All kinds of questions\ncome up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“What\ndid I do wrong? What could I have done differently? Who am I now that I\u2019m\nno longer in this relationship? Will I ever be loved again?”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\nmay question the role you played in the breakup or you may blame him. Sorting\nthrough the questions \u2014 and the emotions that come along with them \u2014 will take\nsome time and some distance before it gets easier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3.\nIt hurts<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unless\nyou have been planning for the breakup for a while and you\u2019ve already processed\nthrough it, a breakup will always hurt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\nmay experience the hurt physically \u2014 a pit in the stomach, unable to eat,\nunable to talk about it. The emotions can certainly hurt \u2014 anger, hurt,\nbetrayal, disappointment, fear, anxiety, sadness, or depression. The list\ngoes on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Working\nyour way through the hurt while getting over a broken heart, experiencing the\nemotions and physical manifestations, is the only way to move beyond it so that\nyou are more grounded in who you are now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4.\nYou may lose more than a life partner<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting\nover someone you love is hard, but even more so if you share friends and\nfamily. Sometimes, your friends and family also break up with you when your\nrelationship dissolves. They may not know who to support, so they\n“divorce” both of you. Or, they may pick sides \u2014 and it may not be\nyour side.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Losing\nfriends, pets, and in-laws who have been part of your support system can\nexacerbate the sense of loss. Not only do you no longer have your one-and-only,\nbut you may also need to find a new network of supporters, so you are not left\nto your own devices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The\nsense of being alone can be one of the hardest things in a breakup.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5.\nYour dreams are shattered <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This\nis another really hard realization. With the breakup, you not only grieve the\nloss of your lifetime companion (or so you thought). You also lose all\nthose dreams you had together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\nabout that vacation in Hawaii? Or the dream home on two acres in the country?\nTraveling? Those dreams are now out the window, at least in the way the two of\nyou imagined together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In\ntime, when you are moving beyond the breakup, you will dream new\ndreams\u2014and they can be all yours.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6.\nIt can get lonely<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When\nthings change due to a breakup, there is some adjusting to do. Okay, I\nlied \u2014 there is a lot<\/em> of adjusting to do. You will need to\nfill time that used to be filled by being with him. This may come easily\nto you or it may come hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Planning\nthings out so you minimize the empty time is a good practice. Allowing yourself\nsome alone time to process what\u2019s going on is another one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t\nconfuse feeling lonely with being alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7.\nMoving on is difficult<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling\nstuck in one place is common in a breakup. Figuring out where to go next is\noften not clear. I remember feeling like I was treading water, just going\nthrough the motions of my life day-to-day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\nwill come a point when you will have had enough of this and you\u2019ll be ready to\nmove on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Acknowledging\nthat you deserve the best is a great way to get started. Knowing what you value\nmost and what your own personal vision is for the future, comes next. Then you\nget to take inspired action to move into that new dream.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Breakups\nard hard because when your heart is broken and dreams are shattered, it hurts.\nIt’s that simple and that complex. How you move through it, heal in the\nprocess, and get beyond the devastation will make the difference in how you\napproach your next chapter. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mar\u00eda\nTom\u00e1s-Keegan is a certified Career and Life Coach for Women, and founder\nof Transition\n& Thrive with Mar\u00eda<\/a>. When life-changing moments\u2014like a breakup\u2014flip the\nworld upside down, she guides women to turn chaos into calm, so they can clear\ntheir heads, become resilient and learn to live a life guided by their own\nvalues and vision. If you\u2019re ready to explore new possibilities with an open\nheart, get 5 Simple Choices to Get You Back on Track<\/a> now.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This\narticle was originally published at TransitionAndThriveWithMaria.com<\/a>. Reprinted with permission\nfrom the author.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We all react to the loss and grief of a breakup in different ways. Anyone who has been in a long-term relationship that ended in a heartbreaking breakup has asked the question: “Why are breakups so hard?” In my experience, the answer is as complicated as there are people on earth. As we go through the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":27983,"featured_media":2233,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_paywall_metabox":[],"jnews_override_counter":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8965","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\nIf You\u2019re Struggling To Move On From A Breakup, You Need To Read This - Uganda Mirror<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ugmirror.com\/index.php\/2019\/04\/01\/if-youre-struggling-to-move-on-from-a-breakup-you-need-to-read-this\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"If You\u2019re Struggling To Move On From A Breakup, You Need To Read This - Uganda Mirror\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We all react to the loss and grief of a breakup in different ways. 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Anyone who has been in a long-term relationship that ended in a heartbreaking breakup has asked the question: “Why are breakups so hard?” In my experience, the answer is as complicated as there are people on earth. 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