{"id":8928,"date":"2019-03-29T15:14:45","date_gmt":"2019-03-29T12:14:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ugmirror.com\/?p=8928"},"modified":"2019-03-29T15:14:50","modified_gmt":"2019-03-29T12:14:50","slug":"why-cheating-has-become-more-common-according-to-experts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ugmirror.com\/index.php\/2019\/03\/29\/why-cheating-has-become-more-common-according-to-experts\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Cheating Has Become More Common, According To Experts"},"content":{"rendered":"

Men cheat on their spouses more often than women. That fact has been supported by decades of research.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Though,\nthere is one age cohort that lends itself to a more even ratio.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The\n“cheating gap” is considerably less drastic among millennial men and women than\nit is among older demographics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But\nthat’s not because millennial men are cheating less. It’s because millennial\nwomen are cheating more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To\nbe clear, instances of infidelity increase with age in both men and women.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But\naccording to information gathered by the General Social Survey (GSS),\nmillennial women are the only ones who manage to actually outdo the guys.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now,\nthere are folks who might actually celebrate adultery moving into a\nmore equal-opportunity space.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And\nthere are those who might lament the fact that we haven’t seen any significant\ndrops in this kind of activity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But\nmaybe we shouldn’t throw our focus behind the infidelity itself. Maybe we\nshould start examining why it just doesn’t seem to be going out of fashion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To\nlearn more, we spoke to Dr. Robert Weiss, clinical sexologist,\npsychotherapist, and international educator, about the cheating gap, what\naccounts for the new statistics, and the current state of (extramarital)\naffairs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\nare the most common causes for infidelity?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That’s\na gigantic question. It really ranges.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes\nit’s about insecurity – seeking extramarital validation to bolster a flagging\nego. Other times it’s about wanting out of a current relationship, but not\nuntil you’ve got another one lined up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe\nit’s about feeling like you deserve something special that other people don’t,\nor feeling unappreciated, ignored, or neglected in the primary relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\ncould have to do with past trauma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\ncould be about wanting to alleviate boredom, or wanting to end a current\nrelationship but instead of simply stating that you’re unhappy and want to\nbreak things off, cheating, getting caught, and forcing your spouse to do the\ndirty work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How\nwould you define “cheating,” today?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The\ndefinition of infidelity that I use in my book Out of the Doghouse<\/em> and\nelsewhere is the breaking of trust that occurs when you keep intimate,\nmeaningful secrets from your primary romantic partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This definition\nof cheating does not talk specifically about affairs, porn, strip\nclubs, hookup apps, or any other specific sexual or romantic act.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead,\nit focuses on what matters most to a betrayed partner — the loss of\nrelationship trust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For\nthe betrayed partner, it’s not any specific sexual or romantic act that causes\nthe most pain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead,\nit’s the lying, the secret keeping, the lies of omission, the manipulation, and\nthe fact that he or she can no longer trust a single thing the cheating partner\nsays or does.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How\ncommonly would you say this sort of thing occurs?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

To\nbe honest, nobody really knows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Studies\nhave suggested that around 20 percent of people in committed relationships\ncheat on their partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But\nthere are so many different definitions of cheating that it’s really hard to\nquantify.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Does\nchatting with an old flame on Facebook count? What about looking at porn? What\nabout sexualized chat on a webcam with a person who’s thousands of miles away\nthat you’ll never see again, let alone meet in person?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\nare the big warning signs to look out for? <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Look\nfor improved appearance in your significant other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secretive\nphone or computer use, is another sign, as are periods where your significant\nother is unreachable. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Significantly\nless, or more, or different sex in your relationship is something to look out\nfor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unexplained\nexpenses are a red flag.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pay\nattention to if your partner is hostile towards you and your relationship, or\nif emotional intimacy has faded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When\nyou ask about cheating, does your partner deflect or avoid the subject?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\ncan couples keep in mind to keep their relationship healthy?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Open,\nhonest communication is the key to any healthy relationship. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Couples\ncan discuss what their boundaries are, and they can mutually agree on which\nbehaviors are okay and which are not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Given\nthe trends, is it possible that cheating is becoming more common?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Again,\ncheating is hard to quantify.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But\nwith the advent of apps and the proliferation of online porn, I would say that\ncheating is probably on the rise. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Digital\ntech makes access to sexual content and contacts more anonymous, more\naffordable, and just plain easier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But\nsome couples may be okay with a lot of online behaviors and not call what\nthey’re doing cheating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In\nyour experience, is cheating more about sex, or more about pursuing romance? Or\nmaybe the answer lies somewhere in the middle?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cheating\nis more about keeping important sexual and romantic secrets than anything else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If\nyou’re engaging in sexual and romantic behaviors and keeping that secret from\nyour primary partner, you’re cheating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Can\nrelationships recover from infidelity? If so, how?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationships\ncan recover.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In\nfact, they can become better than ever. But there is a lot of work involved,\nand it takes time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The\nkey is becoming fully honest and remaining fully honest, plus healthy, mutually\nagreed-upon boundaries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carrie\nWeisman is a writer who focuses on love and relationships. For more of her\nrelationship content, visit\nher author profile <\/a>on Fatherly.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This\narticle was originally published at Fatherly<\/a>. Reprinted with permission from the author.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Men cheat on their spouses more often than women. That fact has been supported by decades of research. Though, there is one age cohort that lends itself to a more even ratio. The “cheating gap” is considerably less drastic among millennial men and women than it is among older demographics. But that’s not because millennial men are cheating less. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":27983,"featured_media":8929,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_paywall_metabox":[],"jnews_override_counter":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8928","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy Cheating Has Become More Common, According To Experts - Uganda Mirror<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ugmirror.com\/index.php\/2019\/03\/29\/why-cheating-has-become-more-common-according-to-experts\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why Cheating Has Become More Common, According To Experts - Uganda Mirror\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Men cheat on their spouses more often than women. That fact has been supported by decades of research. Though, there is one age cohort that lends itself to a more even ratio. The “cheating gap” is considerably less drastic among millennial men and women than it is among older demographics. But that’s not because millennial men are cheating less. 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