{"id":11222,"date":"2019-09-10T17:17:36","date_gmt":"2019-09-10T14:17:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ugmirror.com\/?p=11222"},"modified":"2019-09-10T17:17:41","modified_gmt":"2019-09-10T14:17:41","slug":"what-to-do-when-you-feel-neglected-by-your-partner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ugmirror.com\/index.php\/2019\/09\/10\/what-to-do-when-you-feel-neglected-by-your-partner\/","title":{"rendered":"What To Do When You Feel Neglected By Your Partner"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>If\nyou feel lonely or like you&#8217;re being neglected by your partner, you might have\na clear idea about why this is. It could be that your partner is dealing with\nillness, stress, or drama in his or her family, or something else that is\nunexpected and difficult.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You\nmay be sympathetic to what your partner is going through&#8230; but you can still\nmiss having the expression of love and attention that you&#8217;re used to in a\nrelationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>On\nthe other hand, you might be used to feeling emotional neglect from your\npartner. Perhaps, from your perspective, you&#8217;ve been low on his or her priority\nlist since day one of your relationship. Maybe you say, \u201cI love you\u201d to your\npartner, but don&#8217;t hear it often \u2014 or ever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While\nevery situation is different, feeling like you aren&#8217;t important, special, or\nmaybe even loved by your partner is sad and scary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In\nreaction to how you feel, you might get needy and demand your partner&#8217;s\nattention or you may withdraw into yourself and possibly even act in\npassive-aggressive ways. These reactions are never effective if what you want\nis loving attention and connection with your partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When\nyou&#8217;re feeling lonely, neglected, and ignored, there are 6 things you don&#8217;t\nwant to do in order to get their attention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Don&#8217;t:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>1.\nAccuse<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If\nyou&#8217;re accusing your partner of something, then you&#8217;re not open to listening,\nand they won&#8217;t be either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Unless\nyou have verifiable evidence that your partner is breaking your agreements,\nlying to you or cheating, chances are your accusations will push him or her\nfurther away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>2.\nJump to conclusions<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\nmight seem clear to you what&#8217;s taking your partner away from you, but don&#8217;t\nassume. It&#8217;s likely that you&#8217;re wrong or not aware of the whole story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>3.\nIgnore important information<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Don&#8217;t\ndismiss reliable information. If there are contradictions or things don&#8217;t add\nup about what your partner says, pay attention. If he or she is asking you for\nhelp in some way, be aware of that too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>4.\nGet defensive<\/strong><br>\nAs hurt and angry as you might feel, don&#8217;t get defensive. Being needy for\nattention, whining or trying to justify being needy isn&#8217;t going to move your\npartner closer to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>5.\nPlay the victim<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We\nknow your partner&#8217;s actions might feel like they&#8217;re rejecting you. Try not to\nplay the victim and make this all about you \u2014 unless you know for sure that it\nreally is all about you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>6.\nMake demands<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\ncan be useful to set a firm boundary. This doesn&#8217;t have to be delivered as a\ndemand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The\ndifference is that a demand pushes against the other person to manipulate or\nbring about a particular result. A boundary is merely the clear statement of\nspecific needs and conditions that you have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\ncan be hard to not act this way when we&#8217;re feeling hurt and stressed, but it&#8217;s\nnot impossible. And there are healthy ways that you can communicate your needs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Do:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>1.\nKeep returning to the facts.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Reliable\nfacts can free you from anguish and emotional pain. Remembering them can also\nbenefit your relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\nis always in your best interests to pause before you react. Sort out what you\nknow is true from what you are merely guessing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This\ncan help you decide what response will potentially allow you to reconnect with\nyour partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>2.\nMeet your own needs first.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here&#8217;s\nthe trap that many people in relationships fall into&#8230; They look to their\npartner to \u201cmake\u201d them feel loved, special, attractive and successful. This\njust doesn&#8217;t work and can make a person feel even more alone and neglected.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While\nit&#8217;s understandable that anyone would want to feel his or her partner&#8217;s love,\nif this is how you feel, please remember that it&#8217;s not your partner&#8217;s job to do\nthis. It&#8217;s your job to make sure your needs are met and that you feel special\nand loved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This\ncan be tricky because a relationship does survive and thrive when love and\nappreciation are expressed on a regular basis. But they thrive even more when\nthe individuals in the relationship are actively meeting their own needs first\nand do not make the other person responsible for how they feel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If\nyou feel sad or insecure, do what you can to soothe yourself in truly relaxing\nways.&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.apa.org\/monitor\/jun02\/writing\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Write\nin a journal<\/a>, treat yourself to nurturing self-care, and meet with a\nprofessional counselor or coach if you&#8217;re struggling to feel better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There&#8217;s\ncertainly nothing wrong with asking your partner for a hug or some other\nspecific request for support, but don&#8217;t expect him or her to make you feel a\ncertain way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When\nyou&#8217;re doing your best to meet your own needs first, then you can talk with\nyour partner about his or her behavior that feels neglectful to you. From this\nplace, you are less likely to sound needy or demanding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You\ncan also more easily listen to what your partner is going through and then\ncreate some agreements that will help you to reconnect.<br>\n<br>\n<em>Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples\ncommunicate, connect, and create the relationship they desire. Get a free copy\nof their ebook,&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.passionateheart.com\/10keyssignup.htm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Passionate Spark, Lasting Love<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you feel lonely or like you&#8217;re being neglected by your partner, you might have a clear idea about why this is. It could be that your partner is dealing with illness, stress, or drama in his or her family, or something else that is unexpected and difficult. You may be sympathetic to what your [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":27983,"featured_media":11223,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_paywall_metabox":[],"jnews_override_counter":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11222","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-relationships"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>What To Do When You Feel Neglected By Your Partner - Uganda Mirror<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ugmirror.com\/index.php\/2019\/09\/10\/what-to-do-when-you-feel-neglected-by-your-partner\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What To Do When You Feel Neglected By Your Partner - Uganda Mirror\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If you feel lonely or like you&#8217;re being neglected by your partner, you might have a clear idea about why this is. 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