Don’t let life come between you and lasting love.
Do you know how to strengthen your relationship so that nothing can break you and your loved one apart?
Have you found the person of your dreams and do you want to do whatever it takes to keep your relationship solid and healthy?
Luckily, learning the tools to strengthen your relationship isn’t difficult. There are things that you can put to use immediately, so that your relationship will be stronger right away.
Here are 5 ways to strengthen your relationship so nothing can break you apart.
1. Talk to one another.
I know, I know.
Every blog that you have read says that communication is the key to every healthy relationship. The reason that every blog says this is because it’s the truth.
Think of every relationship you know of that’s unhealthy.
Looking in from the outside, do you see an inability to communicate, share feelings, explain when they have been wronged, address how they feel about an issue, or even ask for what they want?
Do you see people who aren’t willing to be vulnerable and tell their person how they feel, or that their person is causing them pain?
Do you see people who share their deepest thoughts and emotions with others, but keep their partner in the dark?
Every healthy relationship is based on the ability to communicate with each other in a meaningful way, to speak up when something is bothering you, to feel safe knowing you won’t be attacked.
So, from the beginning, set up healthy communication with your person. Keep communication healthy to that your relationship will stay strong.
2. Take nothing for granted.
Do you think you don’t need to tell your partner you love them “because they know?” Or, do you spend weekends with your parents, go out with your friends, watch TV alone, or work longer without checking in with your partner first?
You may assume it’s OK — even though you never asked their input.
Many people treat their partners with contempt and disregard. They assume they’ll always be there, no matter how they’re spoken to or treated.
One of the things that happens in relationships after a while is that you start to take each other for granted.
In the beginning, you stay constantly in touch, you spend time together, share your feelings, include each other in activities. As time goes on, you become laxer in your attention, and fall into a pattern of taking your partner for granted.
Taking each other for granted is the kiss of death in any relationship.
If you want to strengthen your relationship so nothing can break you apart, make sure that you never assume anything in your relationship.
Don’t assume that your person knows you love them — tell them! Don’t assume that your person doesn’t want to spend time with you, or is OK with you disappearing every Sunday morning.
Don’t assume that your person will just take whatever you dish out and be there for you when you need them.
3. Establish trust.
The number-one way to strengthen your relationship so that nothing can break it apart is to establish trust and maintain it. When trust is lost, it’s hard to regain. When trust is lost, a relationship can end.
Trust can be lost in big ways and small. Big ones, of course, include infidelity and betrayal. It’s the small ones, surprisingly, that can be most destructive to a relationship.
Maybe you have a husband who’s always making promises. He said he’d go look at new windows for the house, but went to the office instead.
He said he’d take out the garbage, but watched the game. He promises to be home in time for dinner, but rarely is.
One small instance at a time, by saying he would do something and then not doing it, your trust in him is eroded. As time goes on, you’ll trust him less and less, until perhaps you might find yourself with one foot out of the marriage.
You won’t want to stay with someone you can’t trust.
So, think hard about maintaining trust in your relationship. Whether it’s about big things or small, when trust is lost, it’s almost impossible to regain.
4. Tell the truth.
Has anyone ever said, “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to hurt you?” Or perhaps, “I didn’t tell you because it didn’t seem important?” Or even, “I didn’t tell you for your own good?”
All of these things are examples of lies; sometimes lies with good intentions, but lies nonetheless.
In order to strengthen your relationship so nothing can break you apart, you must always be honest with your partner about everything. Everything.
If you go out with an old beau for dinner, be honest with your person and tell them. If you put a dent in the car, don’t blame it on someone else.
If you don’t like broccoli, don’t pretend you do. If Sundays at his mother’s are too much for you, don’t pretend they aren’t.
When you don’t tell the truth to your partner, you automatically put up a wall between the two of you. You have something that you aren’t sharing, and that will only create some distance between the two of you.
When there’s distance, distrust often follows. And a lack of trust, as you know, can kill a relationship.
So, never lie to your person. Even for “their own good.”
5. Always touch each other.
This last way to strengthen your relationship so nothing can break it apart is a fun one: touch.
Touch, in many forms, is the glue that can hold a relationship together. When touch stops, relationships can flounder. While this does include physical intimacy, what I really mean is the everyday little things.
The pat on the butt when walking through the kitchen, the kiss before leaving in the morning, holding hands on a walk, spooning at bedtime. All of these wonderful things count as touching.
What happens when you touch someone is profound. While your intellect is always processing your interpersonal interactions, touch is something primal, something that affects your emotions in a way that your brain cannot.
They say that a 10-second hug every day can help a relationship in profound ways. Hugs make the body produce oxytocin, which is a feel-good chemical.
Hugs make you feel safe and secure. Hugs say a lot without words. Hugs mend in a way that words can’t always do.
So, make an effort to keep your hands on your partner. Of course, not all the time, but as often as is right for both of you.
The non-verbal communication that happens with touch can strengthen your relationship in a way that more intellectual efforts cannot.
Knowing ahead of time how to strengthen your relationship so nothing can break you apart is an excellent way of setting your relationship up for success.
Much like learning how to drive a car or be successful at work, knowing the rules around a relationship can keep yours healthy and strong.
So, make an effort to talk to your person openly and honestly, to never make assumptions, to work to maintain trust on both sides, to always tell the truth, and to use the nonverbal communication of touch to let your partner know how you feel.
Love is grand. If you have found that special someone to love forever, do what you need to do to keep your relationship strong.
Mitzi Bockmann is an NYC-based certified life coach and mental health advocate. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live. Contact her for help or send her an email.