There are 4 butt shapes … which one do you have?
Women’s butts of all shapes and sizes are wonderful. You laugh, but(t) it’s true!
Without our buttocks, there are so many things we couldn’t do.
Wear jeans well? Forget it. Issue a triumphant fart? I think not. Steal the heart of an a$$ man? More like give him nightmares. Sitting? More like laying down on your stomach and dreaming of a better life.
But(t) again — sorry, I can’t be stopped from such dorkiness — butts of all types are more than just useful and humorous flabby appendages, and turns out different types of butts can reveal a lot about the state of their owners’ health. (And here you thought all they were good for was looking fine in spandex …)
What do the four most common types of butt shapes — heart shaped, V-shaped, round and square — say about your body’s overall health?
Just call me Detective Butts, because I am on the case!
Here are the 4 most common types of butt shapes and what each means for your health.
1. V-Shaped or Inverted Butts
V-shaped or inverted butts are most commonly found in older women. Changes in hormone levels and decreased levels of collagen means the usually thick portion of a backside goes walkabout.
If your butt looks like this, try working more protein into your diet, along with a multivitamin and exercise.
2. Heart Shaped or A-Shaped Butts
In their prime, women with heart-shaped butts make the rest of us see green with envy.
But watch out: This shape tends to gain more weight in the midsection as they age, and are more prone to heart disease. Be sure to visit your doctor regularly, and I don’t mean Dr. Squats.
3. Round or Circle Shaped Butts
When with big, full circular butts (aka “bubble butts”) tend to be smarter and healthier overall. Go you and your butt! You did it!
On the downside, round butts are more prone to develop cellulite deposits. But who cares? OMG.
4. Square or H-Shaped Butts
Sometimes it is hip to be square, but that is not the case when you are a butt.
Square butts may indicate a weak core, and a weak core can lead to a low immune system. Square butts can also mean an excess of fat around the love handles which can lead a person at higher risk for stroke or a heart attack.
No matter what, of course, all butts of all types and shapes — including yours — are beautiful.
What’s your butt shape?
Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cats, Batman and Margot. She’s an experienced generalist with a passion for lifestyle, geek news, pop culture, and true crime.
