Do women confuse you?
In a relationship, we want to know how to love our partner in a way that makes them feel loved.
So you’ve finally found the one and now you’re looking for ways to make her feel loved.
Are you worried that you’re just a clumsy guy who doesn’t get women at all, that you won’t know what women want and if you don’t do some research, you just might lose the one you love?
When you love someone, your goal is to be in a successful and healthy relationship with them. Unfortunately, as the old title says, men are from Mars and women are from Venus.
Men and women are so fundamentally different that sometimes it hard to imagine how any relationship can ever work. So, what do women want in their relationships?
I am here to tell you that successful and healthy relationships are entirely possible to achieve. As a matter of fact, I’m in one. And there are many things my guy does everyday that make me feel loved and you can, too.
Here are 5 ways to love your woman in your relationship.
1. Be honest
So, tell me the truth. How many times have you told your woman a lie to protect her and keep her from getting hurt? How many times have you figured that what your woman doesn’t’ know won’t hurt her?
I have a friend who, when he dates a woman and then doesn’t want to see her again, he doesn’t tell her. When she reaches out, he curtly responds. When she wants to do something, he vaguely makes an excuse. He is waiting for her to walk away from him. Why? So, he doesn’t “hurt her.”
What men don’t understand is that women are stronger than men think they are. So many of my clients tell me that if their guy would just tell them the truth, then they would be able to make a decision about whether to fish or cut bait instead of having to sit around, wondering about his behaviour.
So, if you have done something that you know might upset your woman, tell her! If you are going to work late, tell her, even if you think it will upset her. It will upset her more if, when dinner is on the table, she gets a text from you saying that you won’t be home.
Be proactive. I promise that one of the most effective ways to make your women feel loved is to respect her strength and be honest with her, even if you are scared of how she might react.
And, know that if you try to keep a secret from your woman it will, eventually, come out. And when it does, her trust in you will be violated and good luck coming back from that one.
2. Make time
I know, I know. Life is busy. There are work and friends and sports and mothers and kids and pets and chores and they all take up a lot of time.
That being said, while all of those things are important, the most important thing is right in front of you —your woman. Imagine if you didn’t have her. What would you do, then?
When your golf game needs some work, you practice more often. If a project at work is particularly challenging, you stay late to get it done right. So, how come so many men don’t put the time into their relationship to keep it a happy one?
Spending time with your woman doesn’t mean not paying attention to the other things in your life but it does mean making her a priority.
I have a client who plays golf every weekend, with his wife’s permission. When he reached out to me, he was feeling a little distant from her and he wasn’t sure why. I suggested that he not play golf one Saturday a month and make that a Saturday just for them.
What happened? His wife was thrilled to spend more time with him and she felt special because she knew that he was giving up time doing something he loved for her. Her distance immediately disappeared and they have a lot of fun on those Saturdays.
So, make your woman a priority. I promise you will make her feel loved.
3. Use your words
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked a client if they tell their partner how much they love them, how much they appreciate them, and how beautiful they are.
What do my clients usually say? I don’t have to tell her. She already knows.
I can promise you that, even if your woman knows that you love her, she wants to hear it from you. Why? Because every woman (and most men) like to be told how, and why, they are special to you.
Today my beau and I were discussing how he didn’t have many habits that bugged me. Sure, he leaves his OJ glass on the counter every morning and his truck is so old that it’s often not reliable but I realized that none of those things matter because he tells me he loves me all the time.
Clearly telling me how much he cares about me gets him out of a whole lot of trouble every day and makes our relationship stronger.
4. Don’t be scared
Here’s a funny story. A client of mine’s wife got out of bed in the middle of the night and stubbed her toe on the treadmill that he got her for her birthday. She immediately started ranting about the stupid treadmill and how frustrated she was at work and how she didn’t want her mother to come over the next day. My client was stumped by her behaviour.
As a woman, I can tell you what the reality was. What happened was that his wife was in pain after stubbing her toe and she needed to put some words to that pain. Those things weren’t actually a problem for her but they were on her mind and the pain made them worse
Don’t be scared of your woman’s emotions. Women do have emotions and women are way more likely than men to display those emotions. Her emotions might seem big and unmanageable to you and you might do everything that you can possibly do to avoid them being on display.
If you don’t let your fear of her emotions drive you but, instead, you seek to understand that they are real — and definitely OK — you will make her feel loved. She will know that you see her and that you trust her and that you understand and respect her feelings.
It might seem hard to believe, but life and love will go on if your wife has a big cry at the end of a long day.
5. Listen
There is a popular YouTube video about a woman who is telling her partner that she is really struggling with headaches and pressure and that she doesn’t know what to do.
The camera pans left and we see that she has a nail coming out of her forehead. The camera pans to the man who tries to point out the nail and suggests that removing it might ease the pressure. She gets mad because he is always trying to fix her when she just wants him to listen.
When he does just that, she calms down and kisses him. Or, at least, tries to. It’s hard with the nail in her forehead.
The number one issue that I hear from women is that when they are trying to express how they feel to their man, that man doesn’t acknowledge her feelings but, instead, tries to get to the root cause and fix them. Women don’t want this.
Women want to be seen and heard and not fixed. If you can take away one thing from this article let it be this one. Next time our woman is distressed, sit there, listen, acknowledge what she says and be empathetic. Don’t try to fix her!
It’s way easier then you might think to make your woman feel loved.
Unfortunately, in so many ways, men and women struggle to understand what each other needs and so they stab around in the dark, trying to do the best that they can.
Well, here I am, a woman and a life coach, telling you what you can do to make your woman feel loved. Be honest with her, make time, talk to her, don’t be frightened of her emotions and don’t try to fix her!
If you can do these for her, you will make great inroads into making your woman feel loved. You can do it!
Mitzi Bockmann is an NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention, Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. She works with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world. Email her now and get started!
